Please Eat a Dick
I bought The Godfather collection on the Blu-ray Hi Definition HDDVD.com 2.0 what that also vacuums my living room floor while I’m passed out on the couch. I was so excited to buy it. Firstly, because it’s expensive and it only works on other expensive consumer electronics, and that sends a message to people I don’t know. That message is, “Hey, look at me. I like to buy expensive things. Love me.” Secondly, it’s a great film and I stress the word film. I love great films. I appreciate only great films. Why, I spend most my days at home enjoying fine cinema and showing how smart I am in appreciating them on various message boards on the internet. Fine films such as 300, The Dark Knight, and The Matrix all share a treasured place in my heart and in my film library, neatly tucked away with care and love on my vast shelves of only the finest cinema.
That’s why I was shocked at what I found when I finally got away to opening The Godfather collection, I dunno, like a week or two after I bought it. Continue reading ‘Dear Francis Ford Coppola, Sony, and Best Buy’
Nicotine and caffeine go together like America and apple pie, so it’s kind of a wonder that those fat-cat ad wizards on Madison Avenue took so long to come up with a product that combines the two. Behold, the Commit Cappuccino nicotine lozenge. Every time I try to quit the cancer sticks (which is about once a month — don’t you judge me), I opt for the Commit lozenges because: