pu•sil•lan•i•mous
definition:
showing a lack of courage or determination; timid.
pes•ti•len•tial
definition:
- harmful or destructive to crops or livestock
- dated of, relating to, or tending to cause infectious diseases
- annoying (informal)
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. People who find the comics in The New Yorker funny deserve to be punched in the back of the head. I present to you this abject example of banality:
Seriously, fuck The New Yorker. Unless this is about that whole Haiti thing.
I am often asked, “Jimmy, who’s your best one, Bill Pullman or Bill Paxton?” The question, as often as I hear it, has become quite laughable, for I have come to the only logical solution.
I boldly respond, “Neither, for I choose the bastard son of the two Bills. I choose Olyphant.”
Could you imagine those two doin' it? I know right.
It's like Freaky Friday but with nerdy virgins.
If I write a movie and I really want Michael Cera to be the star, and it turns out that Michael Cera can’t do it because he’s busy making sure the Arrested Development movie doesn’t happen, I should re-write the character.
After that, I should go to Home Depot, buy a length of heavy-duty rope, drive back home, murder my pets, record an unintelligible suicide tape, and hang myself for ever coming up with the idea.
And the only way to do that is through a looping youtube video that I edited
So I’m wicked hungover the other morning because I was up late the night before celebrating the big promotion I got at the office for how I handled the Fisher Account. Now, my morning routine after I’ve had one or three too many limoncellos, is to get on the onlines and check out my sites. After MILFhunter.com and wikipedia articles about Elephantiasis and Diane Arbus that somehow managed to meander to an article about the differences between Jewish and Islamic dietary laws, I go to CNN.com to check the latest headlines for oddities. If you don’t know what I’m talking about go to this link, because I don’t have time to go into it, and I feel like I’ve already babbled on and on without even getting to the point.
Oh, and there is a point.
The point is this little gem that I find tucked away near the end of their latest headlines: